Worst December

Don't be fooled by the title of this post. My December has been a pleasant one and I hope to continue that through the new year.

It's aptly titled "Worst December" after a song of the same name by my favorite band, Sugarcult. The lead singer, Tim Pagnotta, wrote the lyrics and kept the song a secret for a long time. It's about a relationship that he was going through at the time and he was afraid of his girlfriend finding the pages and them having to confront their issues. I'm telling you this because I have faced somewhat the same dilemma in my blogging.

You see, I am a person who keeps walls up on my emotions. Maybe it's to keep people out, maybe to keep myself in. Maybe it's my way of not getting hurt again, or me not wanting to hurt others. It's something I've always struggled with, even amognst friends and family. I have lived a crazy life with a dysfunctional, yet loving, family. I've broken hearts and had mine crushed to pieces. I've done things I'm not proud of and witnessed things far worse. These are the secrets that I keep locked up for fear of judgement, sorrow, pity... but not anymore.

I started this blog with the intention to write what I felt, what I lived, my ups and downs. I wanted to entertain, inspire, and vent through my fingertips. However, everytime I sat down and thought of who might be reading or what they might think, I chickened out.

This will change in 2011.

I will post more often. I will talk about what I'm going through in my life, and I will not hold back. I will reveal secrets I've never told anyone and fears that I can barely tell myself. I will talk about my family, my friends, my relationships and probably piss people off along the way. This will mirror my real life, where I will be more honest and open to those around me.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life and I'm doing quite well right now. There will be plenty of funny, romantic, beautiful stories as well, but I will not leave the bad out.

I think back and realize that I would not change a thing in my past, for it has made me the great human being that I am today. However, I've changed the title of this blog because it hasn't been easy Growing Up Young.